Learner's Permit
by Otaku Maiden
Summary: Nothing good could ever happen when a teen has a learner's permit.
1. Chapter 1

_Two fics in one day...Not bad..._

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><p><strong>Learner's Permit<strong>

'_Ed's sporting a Cheshire Cat grin...this can't be good_.'

Every time Roy Mustang saw Edward Elric walk around with his trademarked grin/smirk, it was never good news for him. The last time Ed had that expression in his presence? As Roy recalled, it was during Ed's alchemy assessment when they battled; the end result was not pretty...

"What did you do now, Fullmetal?" Roy asked. Knowing Ed, whatever it was would mean a huge expense to the military.

Ed smiled impishly. "You make it sound like I'm up to no good, Colonel Bastard." Roy was about to respond but a well-timed glare from Riza made him stop. '_Thank you, First Lieutenant Hawkeye_.' Ed smiled brightly. "Who would like the honour of allowing me to drive them somewhere – _anywhere_?"

This puzzled the members of the office. Seeing the confused looks from his older co-workers, Ed pulled out of his pants pocket a small card. Jean's face froze, Kain and Heymans jaws dropped, Alex had tears running down his cheeks (tears of joy or fear, no one really knew), Riza's eyes widened and Roy's eye began to twitch; they were not expecting this day to come for a long time.

"I got my learner's permit!" Ed exclaimed happily. "So, how about it Havoc?" He turned his attention to Jean. "You used to drive me almost everywhere when I first joined the military...why not let me return the favour?"

"Sorry, Boss."Considering Ed's explosive temper by being called short, Jean did not want to be the first one to encounter Ed's first time with road rage. "I've got work to catch up on."

"Same goes for us!" Kain and Heymans shouted in unison.

Just as Ed focused his attention on Alex, he bolted for the door saying, "I believe that the Fuehrer requested my assistance for something."

Refusing to be deterred, Ed targeted Riza. Just as he was about to ask her to allow him to drive her somewhere, Scieszka barged into the office. "Lieutenant Hawkeye!" She shouted. "Oh," she muttered and bowed apologetically. "Sorry to interrupt but some of us in the Court Martial Investigations Division are having problems deciphering a document from an old file." Scieszka refocused her attention on Riza. "We were hoping that you could help us."

Riza sighed. "Alright, I'll help." With lightning speed, Riza gathered her stuff and left the room, thankful for Scieszka's timing.

With only one other option left, Ed sighed dejectedly and turned to Roy. "Colonel..."

"No one in hell am I allowing you near my car, Fullmetal." Roy said. "What type of irresponsible adult would allow a short, loud-mouthed, ill-tempered, reckless brat to drive? Personally, I think those administrators who gave you the permit in the first place ought to be psychologically examined."

Seeing how red Ed's face was becoming, Jean, Kain, and Heymans grabbed their paperwork and ran out of the office, screaming "Ed's gonna blow!" as a means to warn everyone else in Central Command.

Roy was waiting for the ensuing blow up, but it didn't happen. Instead, he saw a red-faced Ed stomp out of his office, slamming the door with such a force that the room almost shook. He took a deep breath and headed towards the door to go after Ed, knowing his words hurt the young alchemist. As he grabbed the handle and turned it, nothing happened. He shook the handle hard and still nothing; that's when it dawned on him.

Ed used alchemy to seal the door shut.

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><p><em>I think I'll end here for today...I'll write a second chapter and post it by the end of the week.<em>

_What do you think so far? I would love to read your opinions!_


	2. Chapter 2

_As promised...here's part 2!_

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><p>It had taken Roy five hours to finally get out of the office. He had to try drawing several transmutation circles until he finally designed one to undo Ed's handy work. Part of him wanted to throttle the blond brat for that stunt but he knew he deserved it for the hurtful things he said to the kid.<p>

As the hours past, Roy was about ready to give up on looking for Ed in Central Command; as he continued searching outside, he caught the sight of familiar golden hair being played by a dark-haired youth.

All that Roy saw was red. "You stinkin' little hormonal dog! Back off!" He started snapping his fingers, aiming raging flames at the youth near Ed, being careful not to hurt the young alchemist. While blinded in his fury to protect Ed, Roy did not realise that Ed had countered his alchemic attacks by transmuting the ground into a shield. When the flames finally destroyed the make-shift cover, all that was left was a furious blond alchemist.

"What the hell is your damage?" Ed yelled at his commanding officer. "You bastard colonel! First you have the nerve to say those awful hurtful words to me and now you try to kill one of my best friends?"

"There's no such thing as best friends when it comes to horny disgusting teenage boys!" Roy retorted.

"You're one to talk you pervert!" Ed screamed back. "Plus, you could've started an international incident by attacking the crowned prince of Xing!"

Roy allowed himself a moment to calm down as the words Ed just spoke processed in his brain. "That was Ling, wasn't it?"

Ed sighed, highly annoyed. "Yes."

"Why was he playing with your hair?"

"He was helping me re-braid it." Ed snorted. "The elastic that was holding it snapped."

"Back up a minute," Roy frowned. "What was he doing in Central Command in the first place?"

Ed narrowed his eyes. "We had plans to meet here and go to lunch..."

"As in...a date?" Roy glared at the blond.

"Simply because I sometimes date boys doesn't mean I'm automatically dating every boy I meet!" The blond alchemist was furious. "And what business is it of yours about who I want to date?"

"_**YOU'RE MY KID AND I NEED TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU!"**_ Roy yelled; after realising what he said, he stood in shock waiting for Ed's response.

Ed's eyes widened. '_He thinks of me as his kid?_' As Ed started to process past experiences with the few suitors he had and the way Roy reacted, it began to make sense. Roy was doing the same things that Hughes used to do; constantly checking on him and Alphonse, the way he would monitor their movements (more parental than superior officer), there was even the time when he fell asleep while researching documents in the library and his coat was draped around his shoulders – he always thought it was Al who did that, but he would have waken Ed to return to their dorm room – it must have been the colonel.

The two alchemists stared at each other; neither knowing what to say to break the awkward silence.

"Look, Ed..." Roy decided to speak up. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier, but I just...I don't know...panicked...over the fact that you were growing up so fast."

"Colonel..." Ed sighed. "I haven't been a kid since my mother died. I had to grow up long before I wanted to, especially since I had to look after Al."

"More like Al was looking after you..." Roy muttered about the younger Elric brother, wincing from the mild pain he received after being punched by Ed's automail arm. "Listen, Ed. I've known you from the time you were what, eleven years old?" He rested a hand on Ed's head. To think, the teen was almost seventeen years old and still maintained his petite stature. "I've seen you perform some extraordinary feats Fullmetal, but part of me still sees the broken kid in need of a father figure..."

"But I'm not a kid anymore..."

"I know that." Roy resigned. "I guess I'll have to learn that you're growing up and you don't need me anymore..."

"Look, Colonel..." Ed started. "As much as I would love to deny this, but you did a lot for me and Al – and even though it seems like I didn't appreciated it, I do." Roy smiled slightly, knowing this is as close to a _thank you_ he's going to get from Ed. "_But_..." And like that, Roy saw the sentimental 'father-son' moment gone. "A father would help his son get his driving license by allowing him some time to learn to drive in his car..."

Roy could only sigh. '_Teenagers and their one-track minds..._'

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><p><em>That's it for now with the pseudo-parental fluff...what do you think? Should I stop here or make one more chapter?<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_At long last...Part 3!_

_I'll admit it; I don't have a license so I'm not 100% sure if what I wrote is accurate. With gas prices they way they are (almost $1.50 a litre? Forget that!) and the expenses for insurance and all that jazz? Give me public transport anyday!_

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><p>Roy scowled as he walked down the halls of Central Command, knowing that the other officers were laughing at him...not exactly laughing directly in his face, but their eyes contained a restrained laughter that was waiting to come out.<p>

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Sir?" Riza asked, startling Roy from his scowling.

He shook his head. "Not really, but would you actually trust the others in helping Ed with practical driving before his test?"

"Well," Riza paused, thinking about the options. "There is Falman..."

"Who will _definitely_ bore Ed to death with technical terms..." Roy interjected. "No, I should be the one to teach him anyway. He gave up a normal childhood to join the military because I put the insane thought in that little head of his." He sighed. "Helping him to get his driving license should help give him some form of normalcy that a teen should have."

"Good luck, Sir." Riza saluted. "Just don't frazzle Edward too much so that he doesn't crash your car."

Roy pulled out a set of keys from his jacket pocket. "That's why I'm taking Havoc's car."

Riza's jaw dropped, hearing what Roy was doing. Part of her wanted to laugh but couldn't, knowing that it could easily be _her car_ that could be heading into death row right now...

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><p>As Roy finally reached the parking lot, he found Ed already there, leaning against a Stanley Steamer and reading a book. <em>'Typical, the kid always has his nose in an alchemy book.'<em> What Roy was not expecting was a growling sound emitting from Ed towards (he supposed) a good-looking older teen, who tried approaching the young state alchemist just to end up running away. Reaching closer to Ed, Roy realised that the growling was actually from Black Hayate, sitting beside Ed. He patted the canine's head. _'Good dog...he's earned himself a t-bone tonight.' _Black Hayate yipped, almost knowing he'll be rewarded later, and ran off to look for his master.

"You know, Colonel Bastard..." Ed said as he closed his book. "You really need to stop using Lieutenant Hawkeye's dog as a bodyguard for me. I can take care of myself." He glared at Roy. "Plus how am I supposed to have a social life if your lackeys continue to scare off everyone?"

"Social life is one thing..." Roy walked towards the passenger side of the car. "Keeping you safe from horny teenage boys is another." As Ed was about to argue that the Colonel was once a teenager himself, the teen stopped himself as Roy tossed a set of keys at him that he barely caught. "So why are you standing around for? You want driving practice or not?" Ed had a huge smile as he entered the vehicle, waiting for Roy to enter and start giving him pointers.

As both alchemists buckled in, Roy started to give Ed some advice. "First things first, Ed. You need to consider _safe_ driving; meaning you need to check your car to make sure everything works properly."

"Like checking the rear-view mirror and side mirrors for incoming traffic." Ed stated as he checked the mirrors of the car. "And testing the turn signals and the different lights to make sure that they work..."

"...Right..." Roy was dumbfounded that Ed actually knew what he was doing. "You also need to check the windshield wipers, the air pressure of the tires, the brakes, the horn and the gas pedal. But you don't have to worry about that today since Havoc just had the car serviced." Ed simply nodded his head in understanding, keeping mental note of what he needed to check. "Well, that's basically what I can think of to tell you now, so how about some on-road pointers?" The young blond smiled at his superior officer/father figure as he started the car and slowly drove out of Central Commands property to enter the city streets.

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><p>Roy was pleasantly surprised by Ed's maturity and ability to follow his instructions while driving the streets of Central. The blond alchemist kept a safe distance from the other cars on the road, yielded to pedestrians to carelessly ran into traffic, managed to make smooth turns in crowded intersections and remained calm during a twenty-minute traffic jam. There was no doubt in Roy's mind that Ed was <em>definitely<em> ready to obtain his license, which made him somewhat glum knowing that this boy was growing up to become a responsible adult. As they returned to Central Command, Roy was surprised that Ed was able to perform the death-trap of all drivers; Ed was able to execute a perfect parallel parking job with the Stanley Steamer in a tight spot.

"Well?" Ed was nervous as he came out of the car and Roy came out as well to examine the parking more closely. "How did I do?"

Roy allowed a breath to escape, turning his attention from the car to Ed. "Ed..." he started. "If there's one thing I know for sure, you are _ready_ for your license. Before Roy knew it, he heard an uncharacteristic squeal from Ed as the young alchemist ran over and hugged him. This caught the older alchemist off-guard, but he accepted the hug, delighted that Ed appreciated him.

The pseudo-familial moment was broken, however, by an obnoxious older male. "Yo!" the unknown male called out. "What's a washed-up Lothario like you doin' with a hot shorty blonde like that?"

"Washed up?" Roy scorned.

"Shorty?" Ed steamed.

It did not take the state alchemists long to demonstrate the power they had; Ed transforming his automail arm into a blade and Roy slipping on his ignition-cloth glove to send a fire spark that barely missed its target, making the unwelcomed male run for his life. Roy Mustang and Edward Elric may not be related by blood, but they unquestionably share the same temperament when insulted.

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><p><em>Well, this is the end for Learner's Permit. Hopefully you all enjoyed this little story!<br>_


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